Thelma and Louise are coming to my house.

There is a big day at the Wilson house tomorrow. The ladies will arrive.

The event is taking place because our wash machine of 13 years gave up the ghost last weekend. In our homestead there is no more important appliance than the mechanical cleaner of clothes. With a family of 6 the thing gets a work out. I couldn't even guess the number of miles the spin cycle had achieved.. A quick back of the envelope estimate.... the thing had to be in the multi million mile club. We did get our moneys worth out of the olde thing.

Like an old football lineman the appliance was pulled from service and unceremoniously benched. Taken from the house to the curb, then picked up by two gentlemen seeing an opportunity to gain value from the sheet metal of the old plan vanilla white machine. It was even raining slightly as the old boy was dragged the last mile. (Dabbing tears from the corner of my eyes)

What is red, has a twin sister, and named for two characters in an ultimate chick flick? The two new home essentials, named Thelma and Louise will take up residence on Friday morning. Yes, we are doing our part to raise the national output of durable goods. Mr. Bernanke, this may not show up in your tan book, but we are doing our part to contribute to the economic recovery.

There is much excitement about the arrival of the ladies. It appears that my wife has felt the repression of Mr. Henry Ford relating to our laundry equipment for a long time. For many years, the manufacturers of said equipment, basically have caused the space in our home to have any color equipment we wanted as long as it was white.

In our almost 18 years of marriage I didn't realize the angst the color of the appliances had caused.. Even my children have felt deprived by not having pigment in the steel. How was a guy to know. So, in choosing, the emancipation has taken place. Free at last, we're free at last, good gracious almighty we are free at last.

Ms Thelma and Ms Louise will be red. (Ms Ann this not a political statement and no one from any group or media outlet participated in this decision. ). This was a critical selection criteria for the new household assistants. I'm still trying to figure out how these vital pieces of equipment have already been accepted by name in the household. I have seen the naming of a living breathing pet take more time and much more deliberation.All are a buzz about the arrival of the ladies.

We have already confirmed that they are spending their last night of restfulness at the local big box retailer. Hope they are rested up because tomorrow, these beautiful ladies, named for outlaws, will begin working their way up the million miler achievement test.

Spending time with my youngest lady

My youngest and I had some good quality time together this week. We attended events together, went to football games, a bonfire at a friend’s house, did bedtime reading, just hung out and traveled together. It was very special to see and hear life from the perspective of a six year old. Don't get me wrong, chronologically she is only six. She is beginning to outpace me in the maturity area due to the influences of her older siblings and her Mom. She is lots of fun and has a heart the size of the state of Texas. The time together will be the subject of a three post series.

Little Brother/Little Sister

Sweet thing did ask this week if she could be a big sister. This caused her Mom and me to give each other a couple of looks. It appears that Dabba has heard from friends at school about how you become a big brother or big sister! WOW! (This is the five alarm fire announcement that puts you on your toes)

My though is oh! I can't wait to see what she has learned after only about four weeks in Kindergarten. And I was wondering what the President was going to say to the kids. At this point I'm thinking his message, whatever it is, was going to be is kind of late!

"So, Mom and Dad, if we put our name on the list we can have a baby brother or sister!" More looks exchanged between the parental units. Relief! And confusion is the first two things after hearing the request. Okay, so science and biology class in Kindergarten haven't advanced that much since I was in over forty years ago, expect for the fire and the electricity thing. (Mimi, we have another entry for the book!) Not sure about the list but this will be an okay discussion.

Smiles now appear on the face of the relieved parents. See, as the six year old explains, there is a family in school that has recently applied for adoption. So, putting your name on a list is how you get a baby brother or sister. And, Dabba, doesn't want to be left out. She also has an Aunt and Uncle that live near Washington DC that are expecting any day now so there have been some baby discussions. Again, relief about the biological understanding thing. Thinking this might be a good time to have a redirect about a pet!

The topics passed after we discussed we might want to be off the list while we focus on her and her other siblings. There are hugs exchanged. I can tell this is not the last time we will have this discussion. Cause being the "baby" in the family isn't much fun if you don't have a little brother or little sister.

Spending "Man Time"

This past Monday I had the opportunity to bring my son along on a business trip. Nothing fancy, a couple of hours trip, in a rental car, to see two of my employer’s locations. We had a great time. H, called it "Man Time." Just us guys.

Don't get us wrong. The two of us males love the females in our homestead. But every now and then we need to step out of the estrogen ocean onto a testosterone island.

We rode along together, talking, eating, making jokes, practicing our Scout knowledge and just being guys. Topics ranged from his camp physical that day, potentially a whole other post, to the rental car, to cool discovery topics. We discussed how my dad had taken me along on trips when I was H's age. (I can see the look in his eye when he thinks about me being a kid!) It makes me smile.

We had a great time. H still doesn't understand what we did when we didn't bring along, IPod’s, Nintendo’s, power connections, etc. to make trips entertaining. That look I discussed comes back!

The rental car I mentioned came into the trip when I developed car trouble on the ride home from work earlier in the afternoon. I commute about 65 miles to work each way so car trouble takes on a life of its own. Anyway, I dropped my car at the shop to be worked on and called the company that picks you up to deliver a car. You have to be standing there at the auto shop when the thing pulls up. One of the mechanics laughs out loud and says, "What is that?" Instantly, I knew that would have to be the car I was going to be using until my car was repaired.

Some more background. On the way to the shop, H hears me making the rental car reservation. "Hey, dad, will we get a cool car for the trip? How about an Expedition, or a Red Mustang, you know something cool." At nine cool is important. I'm thinking about price and functionality. With only 45 minutes until all of the rental car places in town close, I'm not being too picky.

Picture this rental car. Red, four doors, and very small. It was a Chevy Aveo! The car came with crank windows and only plunger door locks! It did have the new car smell. My son had never ridden in a car with crank windows. So we didn't look so manly in the four cylinder, Flintstone mobile. But, hey! After some giggling and hand adjusting the side mirrors, we were off on our guy time adventure. Ah, answer to H's earlier question, very low cool factor.

While at the work site, H, met the other adults there. I was being the proud dad, when he extended his hand to say hello and greet them. Nice going! H met a man that was from New Zealand. There was a discussion about the accent. H also hung out with a guy I work with who talked with him, gave piggy back rides, and called him H. There was a lot of knuckle pounding going on that evening.

The trip home at 2:00 a.m. was a good bit quieter than the ride over. He hung tough keeping me company as long as he could.

This was a great trip. I'm looking forward to the next time we get to spend some "Man time" together.

The Beach comes to the House

Over the weekend I acquired some play sand for the kids. The weather turned so we didn't get to put the sand in the kids sand box. This caused great disappointment for a young lady in my house.

The 100 pounds of sand has been in the back of my car since Saturday.

At bed time on Wednesday a request was made to put the sand in the garage so it was be available for the sandbox. When I procrastinated the sand made another round time to work with me. Oops!

As I headed home this evening I called my lovely spouse to let her know I was on the road to the house. As I finish talking Jen says a young lady would like to speak with you. Ok!

"Dad, could you please remember to leave the sand in the garage so we can get the sandbox opened?" This little voice just wanted to have a sandbox.

This little project manager had already reminded her mother about the sandbox. She also mentioned to me that she would meet me at the house.

How can you disappoint that persistence?

Anyway, I pulled up in the driveway. A certain young lady comes to me to remind me about guess what?

Just to let you know this story has a very happy ending. The kids had their feet in "The Beach" this afternoon. There were lots of helpers to move the sand, clean the sand turtle, get the supplies needed. Next there was the removal of shoes and socks then, feet in "The Beach"

There are a number of happy kiddos at our house. All over $6 dollars worth of sand and some family time getting "The Beach" ready. What a great evening.

It’s Spring Break at our House

That wonderful event that all school age children love has arrived at our house, SPRING BREAK! For the next week, the kids are out of school.

In our house that means four kids are now available to assist their parental units in whatever tasks, deemed appropriate, for the development of their character. Parental speak for completing chores, cleaning rooms, and fluffing the parents pillows! Yea right! It is nice to dream.

This week has caused some confusion for my 5 year old. Since she is out of school, she would like to know when I get Spring Break! I can’t wait to see my boss on Monday morning. (With the economy the way, it is I’m sure it might not be the right time to ask!) Nevertheless, my darling daughter has hit on a concept that I think should be explored. With vision like this why can’t they wave the constitutional requirement that the President has to be thrity six years old. I wonder how she can do in Economics.)

We are scheduling the week of sleepovers, social events, mall trips, movies, travel to places, activities, and veg time to have a great break. If the scheduling is right, I may see each child every other day as they spend time with their extended families. We use that term for the families of the friends they hang out with. We joke that my son has three hyphenated last names since the families of his buddies kind of claim him as one of their own. (I wonder if we can work that all the way through college? Oops! There I go using my out loud voice again.)

Spring Break is also the time that all children believe that everything is possible. The question was asked; Can’t we just get in the car and ride to see the grandparents? To add context to the discussion we live pretty close to the geographic center of the United States. The relatives live in the far Northeastern corner of the United States and on the East Coast. Another option was proposed by my eight-year-old son. He decided he would like to go to California for the break. We used the chance to do map reading and mapquesting to determine it would only take about 27 hours to get there. Mr. Math was on top of that saying, “it is only 1 and 3/24th of a day to get there.”(Parental pride in the math skill!) (Parental shock in realizing that he believes that I can drive that many hours without bathroom stops and sleep to arrive on the coast!) By the way, I love the sense of adventure that is developing.

We are getting ready for day two of Spring Break. The kids are using the opportunity to sleep in since most stayed up late on the first full day of Spring Break.

Chef In Training

This Sunday morning we were treated to a bacon and eggs breakfast. The fun part was the chef who prepared the meal. Hayden, our eight year old has been an accomplished preparer of eggs from shell to table on his own for sometime. He learned the preparation of scrambled eggs from his 13 year old sister who learned from the family patriarch of the Egg, Papa. Those are some big credentials in our family.

This Sunday morning the elite club of egg chef's has added a new member. Hayden left the kitchen in the middle of egg preparation to find a step stool then without prompting involved his sister, Abigale, at 5, in to the egg making club.

Care was taken to ensure safety. Direction about how to stir, the caution about holding the handle while cooking. The knowledge was transferred from one to another. Pictured above, both fresh from the shower worked together to make the eggs.

At the end of the cooking session both sat and ate together explaining the outcome. I knew it was a hit when little sister ask big brother if she could help again next week.

Hey Papa. You have another member of the family working on the title of best Egg Maker!

Another Entry for The Book

We keep a family book of things that the kids say. The Book is maintained for, one, entertainment and two, to help us remember the things that are said. Over the years there have been some classics. Keeping The Book also helps us to communicate the stories to other members of the family.

Dabba our youngest decided that she would like to have input on which member of the family would be putting the angel on the advent calendar. My wife's aunt, I guess making her my aunt-in-law, hand sewed a beautiful large advent calendar with pockets and hand made ornaments for each day of December.

Dabba decided that working with her Mom and providing a suggestion might help the task she would like to perform fall a little closer to home. There are four kids in the house so there is a one in four chance that Dabba would be chosen for the task.

So, The Book, entry sounded like this. "Mom, when we pick who will put the angel on the calender on the 25th who will get to do it? Mom, well we will have to see. What do you suggest?, Mom says, to the five year old. Could you please have us pick a number between one and three? Then, Mom, could you make the number be two?

Okay, there are four kids. But the message was clear. We either have a future ballot box stuffer in the house or this young lady has already learned the art of making your own luck! No pun intended.

When I heard the story I laughed myself silly. What a great way to make things in the world go your way. Thus, another entry to The Book.

One year of Blogging - Blog Anniversary

The counter on my blog site reminded me that September 5th was the anniversary of Busy Dad Mumbles. This means for over 365 days, the planet making a full trip around the sun, I have had the opportunity to share with friends, family, and fellow bloggers my thoughts, commentary, and events.

My thanks to all of you for your visits, comments, and continued readership, (did I just make up a word?). The audience makes the process fun. Thank you for your support! I have had the honor of meeting some great people all over the world.

What a year! The family updates, the saga of our football team, birthdays, the arrival of new family member and the passing of my dad. We logged many entries into, The Book, the feature that maintains the many things said by my kids that we want them to have when they are older.

I have met a number of great bloggers. We even met a couple in real life and had a chance to visit another in their home.

This has been a wonderful experience for me. There was a chance to share advice and comments and receive both as well.

My thanks again for those of you have have endured my corny sense of humor and my dismantling of the English language. Hopefully another year of blogging will improve the grammar and spelling. The sense of humor is a loss.

Thank you for celebrating my blogoversary with me.

New in Home game invented - Hand Soccer!

This week our eldest was attending a three day volleyball camp. It appears that this may be a new interest for her. The first night of camp she comes home with a bag, a new t-shirt and a volleyball. Mind you, this is not like any volleyball. This has school colors, the logo of the school, lots of customized stuff...pretty impressive to me the parental unit.

We discuss the first day of camp, the drills, and go through the experience. K is having a great time sharing her day and enjoying that at that time of the evening it was all about her.

The volleyball is tossed to the other family in the room to do the family version of show and tell. There are also the little things that get added to any family event, the poking, messing with each other, laughter, IPOD music, gameboys, a reader of a book or magazine, the cat. Hopefully, you get the picture with six people in a 10 foot by 16 foot space. Family time.

Princess Dabba is working on her numbers and letters. So, she will be all the fingers on one hand olde, very soon. (this is becoming a more frequent topic of discussion as the date gets closer!) This is humorous to someone that it takes all the fingers and toes of at least two plus people to determine my age. So the volleyball is getting passed from one person to the next with a count, 1, 2,3.....

It was amazing to watch the creation process in motion. The IPOD was put down so the ball was tossed to another member of the family in the room. The magazine was lowered and hands extended to be another number. Even dad, put down his laptop to have a catch and throw. Game on..5,6, 7

Princess announces that we are playing Hand Soccer! Game invented, 8.

As the ball is passed the number of the pass is counted, outloud by the person working on their number. Oh! Sneaking in educationaly...9..10. Once the ball is successfully caught the count increases. Again, doesn't sound like a big deal, but this is being played in the house. There are six people moving this volleyball around the room in a huge circle within feet of and sometimes inches of breakables. There are also kids and parental units playing.

The speed of the ball picks up from one to another. The stance or sit, position, of the players begin to change. The order of the players moves some to move people away from the really breakable stuff. Then the creativity of the throw and catch starts.

Remember, if the ball drops the count starts over. There is also some feedback to the thrower and/or catcher, dropper, should things not go well or said throw or catch gets to close to valuable items. There is also recognition for speed, creativity of throw, and catch.

We have a new game. Hand Soccer named by our youngest player.

This event has been played every night in the living room, I mean, game area, since Tuesday with increased speed, and catch. Our current record is 100 times to all of us without a drop. We have reached the milestone twice.

We did have one forced discontinuation of play when the dozing parental unit, Me, was suddenly awaken by the sound of a loud crash, and the ceiling fan banging. Game over for the night.

Friday night was an off night due to social events, dinner, and people just being worn out. But you can bet sometime today,or this evening, there will be a Hand Soccer event in an area close to breakables.

We will have to look up in the Guinness Book of World Records the record for straight catches without a broken item or injured person for Hand Soccer. My mother would be so proud.

Note: We believe the breakables are key to heighten the sense of attention. This helps to keep me focused. Outside it just falls to the ground. In the house, you never know what you are going to get. (Sorry Forrest) So far only a minor ceiling fan bump and a couple of table pictures moved slightly. There was one rug burn...but that should heal nicely.

Team sponsorships, marketing deals, agents, video games to follow!

Do the Roads Close?

We have the newest entry for The Book. During our recent trip we decided we would cover as many miles in one day on the road trip as possible. We are talking the distance from Maryland into the Louisville, Kentucky area after a number of stops, some shopping, a couple of pit stops, and of course stops at the historical markers along the route. That is a lot of car riding.

As we arrive late into the Louisville area, without a hotel reservation, we make a few calls to begin checking out the options. There is a "Huge" car show according to everyone we talk with in the Louisville area, and it is the night before the American Idol stop in that town, there are no hotel rooms to be found. So, we cross the Ohio River and push on. This is about 10:45 p.m. on a beautiful Saturday evening.

Continuing on the highway the discussion turns to the hour of the evening. So after another hour of driving we start the process of looking along the highway for lodging. First stop gets us a call down the road to another place that has rooms. Due to the hour they will not take a reservation. We arrive and sure enough there are now no rooms. As we continue heading west on the interstate a voice from the back of the car asks, "What time do the roads close?" At first I wasn't sure I had heard the comment correctly so I asked for a repeat. Yep, same question.

It dawns on me that this member of the family, who likes to go to bed early doesn't usually see the time of night we are up and driving. So, it is a good question. Then it occurs that this young lady hasn't really been up on the trips that we would drive late to various places. Usually, she was asleep so she didn't really understand the time of night or morning as the case may be. The lack of traffic on the highway was also an indication to her that just maybe we were out riding along on a stretch of highway that was closed.

We chuckled at the question and explained that it is really late. The highways don't usually close unless there has been some kind of accident or weather reason to close them. The roads are not like stores they are open all the time.

That is good news. The rest of the story is that after a number of stops we pulled up in the parking lot of three hotels and a fast food place. Found some secure parking and slept. We didn't find a hotel that evening.

We experienced a beautiful sunrise the next morning. Did some freshen up and completed the next 6 hours home. We saved a good bit of money and added a new chapter to our travel adventures. We also discovered a new entry to The Book.

Giving someone the "Stink Eye"

This may surprise my readers that occasionally I have a day to two that makes me somewhat cranky. Without words I can share my mood with a look, a stare, or a head shake.

A few years ago my sister shared a phrase for the look that absolutely cracked me up. She called it a "Stink-Eye." We laughed so hard hearing the description. She just couldn't show us what a good "Stink-Eye" looked like at the time. So, time passed before we could actually find an example.

The strange thing about the joke and the description is that the perfect example came from a beautiful young lady who is our youngest child. While taking pictures with her mother she turned toward the camera and presto. A "Stink-Eye" was captured.

The next time time you are having a rough day or disagree with something you have heard, bust out a "Stink-eye"

Happy Cow Appreciation Day -

My friends at Chick-Fil-A have invented a new Hallmark holiday. Today is Cow Appreciation Day. It is time to go to your local Chick-Fil-A to have some chicken. On Friday, July 11, 2008 all you have to do is dress like a cow and you can receive some cool things.

I have always been a fan of Chick-Fil-A this promotion just makes it fun. They are also the makers of some of the finest sweet tea in the country. So, help a cow today, eat more Chicken.

750 Miles, 4 Stops, and 3 Traffic Jams

Lovely wife and the crew headed off to visit relatives for the first leg of a family visit. So, hitting the road at the crack of stupid, 0630, the crew loaded in the Family Vehicle and headed East.

Traveling in the new age of high technology and rising gas prices allowed for some interesting stories from the road. There were even a couple of fun events on the first leg out.

With gas prices rising Lovely Wife reported that she saw gas prices in excess of $4.00 per gallon for regular unleaded. She even had to pay $4.10 for one batch. That is where technology has back fired on the sale. Most fuel pumps shut off sales between $50 and $75 dollars. Having a large vehicle this restriction doesn’t allow the purchaser to have a complete fill-up. I'm sure some of the restriction is to prevent theft through drive off's. This small inconvenience was overcome by fuel stop number two.

Princess Dabba was upset during a brief rain shower that her part of the car was not receiving the same amount of rain as the front windshield. Think about it, why should the adults up in the front get all the rain? That produced a story for The Book.

We had a MapQuest search from Home base to the travel vehicle. There appear to be three towns with the same name in Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana. Doesn't sound like a big deal but when all three are on the same interstate route it can make progress tracking kind of fun.

George the GPS earned his keep on the trip by providing an alternate route around a major traffic delay. Now if we could just get him to see them as they are happening and rerouting that would be useful.

Please ladies and gentlemen get on your feet. Let's put those hands together for Lovely wife!!!!! There she stands with the cape flying in the wind. She achieved over 750 miles of driving in one day with four kids in the car. Referred only a few minor sibling disagreements, found routes around traffic delays, over came pesky fuel pump technology and high fuel prices. Unassisted in the driving with only a pesky husband onnthe phone asking his favorite travel question, "Are we there yet? Yes, I did, less than 10 minutes after leaving.

Let the standing ovation continue. Leg 1 of the Tour de America is in the books.

The Book - I'm So Tired my eyes flickered

The last three nights me and the crew have been participating in after work fishing. It is a great family event. The calling at work starts on the cell phone asking me how the day has been followed by, Dad, what do we have planned this evening? Then it advances to calls about have you left yet? I have enjoyed the events. Lots of fun.
Once I get home we quickly grab the fishing poles, worms, the fishing box and head for the local pond. We will then fish until dark. All four kids are out fishing together, with me and sometimes my lovely spouse.

This evening there were a number of fish caught. Just as we are about to head home there is a flurry of activity, my son hollers. DAD, I've got a huge fish....with the sound of excitement and a little fear. The pole in his hand was about bent in half. The other kids are beginning to gather. Keep reeling I'm am hollering, keep the tip of the rod up. His sister is trying to help him lift the thing and get it where we can see it. Oh! No, I have caught a turtle, the young man announces! (This causes some concern, the girls love turtles and don't want to harm any, catching it on a fishing pole oh, my!) Relief, the fish breaks the top of the water. We land a monster bass, at least a couple of pounds. I know, this is a fish tale. Especially since it was dark and we don’t have a good picture. However, my son landed the biggest fish. (Pride welling up in my chest, that's my boy!)
All of a sudden the eldest young lady says, hey, DAD, I’ve got a fish. Okay, this is fun. I haven’t even unhooked the monster bass that my son caught. Then the kids are over trying to help the landing of fish two which was a close second in size. Unbelievable. What great fun. We try to take cell phone pictures while we are returning our prize fish to the lake. Great fishing, lots of fun, great activity, we are outside with worms, and bugs, and fish and fresh air. This is a Mutual of Omaha moment.
As all this activity is taking place I notice it is getting to be significantly darker by the minute. When a voice, of our youngest calls out. Hey, dad, I’m ready to go home. I’m so tired that my eyes are flickering. (All the kids together said, aaaahhhhhh!) As I am unhooking the second fish a small head is leaned against my leg. Dad, we really need to go.

So, home we go, fish stories in hand, a new entry for The Book, and plans already started for the next evening of family fishing.

Father's Day 2008

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads, Pop’s, Daddy’s, and Father’s on this wonderful day of the year. For those of you out there with young children, teenagers, twenty-something’s, older kids or geriatrics’, this day is a mix of giving and receiving. I’m not talking about just gift giving, phone calls, text messages and cards. All of us have a Father, so it is a day to honor, reflect, celebrate, and appreciate that special individual in our life. We wouldn’t be here without them. This is also the day for many of us who have reached the plateau of parental responsibility, fatherhood, to experience, to receive, that recognition, appreciation, and some good old fashion love from the people we are working very hard everyday not to goof up to badly.

Okay, I said it. Maybe I should have gone with the nice respectful post for the day. Do the daily comment and move on. But, oh, No, not on your life, that is just not my style. Don’t get me wrong. Being a dad is the greatest job in the world. It just doesn’t come with an instruction manual, not that we guys would read it! Instructions would be like a map, that we would have to stop and ask directions; isn’t that why the GPS was invented? So we wouldn’t have to ask anymore. There just aren’t lots of guy versions of OPRAH, or Dad magazine out there. Not that these would change the outcome.

This is a different, somewhat difficult day for me. This is the first Father’s Day that I will experience without my Dad. He passed away in April so I will move through this day with a whole in my heart the size of the state of Texas. It’s not that we would have a long conversation on the phone today, smile, they never were. We’re guys! It was the comfort of just knowing he was there if I needed him. That would make the day for me. We would exchange pleasantries, there would be a discussion about the weather, my other seven siblings, the status of the Washington Redskins, maybe some politics, and then we’d close out the conversation as he moved into the Grandfather role asking about the kids. Just thinking about one of those calls has helped me to hear the voice. He is missed.

Turning to my role in Father’s Day. I am very fortunate to be the father to four wonderful children. These are the people that make the world turn for me along with my lovely spouse. Each day I get to see with wonderment the development, the thrills, the spills, and the growth. These four beautiful people, each with the spark that makes them unique to this world, are there everyday and all it takes is one hug, a snuggle, or the head on the shoulder to make anything I face in a day all worthwhile. On this day, it is I who am honored to have such wonderful children, even when you don’t clean your room or you beat me in Wii, I love you.

Happy Father’s Day

What a Day and a New Warning

Yep, amazing but true. It is time to discuss those warning signs that you see on items and you wonder who in the worlds did that. My all time favorite is do not use electric hair dryer in the shower.

Okay, this sounds insensitive. But, sometimes in life if we have to explain to that level of detail should the individual really be allowed to participate in open society? That’s like putting a label that says breathe in: breathe out to maintain appropriate levels of oxygen. Maybe, just maybe, Darwin and the survival of the fittest is correct. We could save a fortune on warning signs and the gene pool might be improved just a bit when a few of the less fit fall out.

You remember the warning sign that is now up everywhere! Hot Coffee may be hot! Al Gore, inventor of the internet, came up with Caution: Ice may be melting because it is getting warmer! Really, no kidding. Okay so I paraphrased the Kyoto Treaty too much. Back to the point.

In the words of the comedic giant, Bill Engvall, “Here's your sign.”

On a very recent day, a good friend and I were running an errand to embarrass another friend on their birthday. What can be better than that? A mission of humiliation.

Miss T was driving her car and we were heading to the bakery to pick up the cake and then we would swing by and get some lunch then back to the office. So, it is pouring rain outside. We are talking about work and the mission underway then I get a call to join a work related conference.

The whole pace of the mission has to pick up because of the weather, the work call, and the fact friend we want to embarrass is on a tight schedule. Why all of the background? I'm getting there.

The cake looks great by the way.

We decide through hand signals since I am on a call to drive through to eat at the Mecca of food. Chick Fil A. Time to get some sweet tea and a Chicken sandwich. I'm talking the redneck version of Don Par rig non and Es car got with great service.

So, the order is placed. I'm working and she is driving, it is raining, I ask for my order. Miss T orders, I ask quickly for a Sweet Tea. I am only half paying attention, yes shocking, to both conversations, I ask for Sweet Tea, as I mute the conference call. The ordering takes place, we quickly close the window since it is raining, and move to pick up the goodies.

Through hand signals we argue about who is paying for lunch. Which is pretty amazing since there appeared to be real communication without words. I won. Who's the Man?

We get to the window and on board the goodies and the beverages. We end up with a couple of extra drinks. So, it appears! Anyway, we look at the receipt and the number of drinks was up since I had ordered twice. Everything gets slammed in the cup holders and I'm holding a drink in one hand and the active conference call in the other. Miss T is driving with one hand and holder her other drink in her hand. I'm thinking fluid management has gotten out of control. We head back to the office where we begin to unload.

Hey T, your cup holder is flooded with Sweet Ice Tea and rising fast. I grab out my cup, made of Styrofoam and see fluid leaking from the cup. This is a 32 ounce cup so there is lots of fluid. I grab out the second cup when I see tea pouring from the sides. This is tragic! Precious sweet Tea from Chick Fil A is being wasted. This is a national emergency!

I quickly begin to determine the root cause of this travesty. Thinking things about the supplier of the cups, wanting to talk immediately to someone at Chick Fil A, and then refocusing on the loss of the tea, I spring into action. Mind you it is raining softly. There are umbrellas, cakes, cake supplies, lunch bags, and enough fluid cups to bail the Titanic up off the bottom of the ocean being handled. What is a geyser doing on the side of my cup? Okay pull off the lid and begin to drink. That doesn’t solve anything. It appears that the fluid is going out the side faster than I can consume it.

The other cup is not leaking! Yea, the other precious cargo is safe. Focus back on the damaged one. Must save the fluid! Then something strange catches my eye. Just below the geyser on my cup something shiny and very out of place is on the cup. That appears to be a rock, a very shiny one affixed to the side of the cup. What did I win? What a strange way to win it? Are there camera people following me back to work? This must be a joke? Then the pressure in the cup, since I am squeezing it, and mean old Mr. Gravity, dislodges the rock and now a second steam of liquid gold is competing with me for the fluid. Okay, I give up. Dump the liquid in the nearby plants. (Moment of silence for Sweet Tea abuse). That’s not a rock it’s an earring with a post.

Quickly I recover the earrings for Miss T. The laughing is now at a volume that is causing people in the parking lot to look. She realizes that she stored her “lost” earrings in the cup holder of her car that now contains about 8 ounces of sweet tea. So we are now using every napkin to drain the cup holder. Which by the way did a nice job containing all the liquid.

So, the then and there we invented the newest warning sign for the car. Never store your earrings in the cup holder! Quoting Bill Engvall, “Here’s your sign.”

Now that's a fan and the Parent Voice!

Last week I had the opportunity to take two of my kids and two kids of some Alabama friends to a concert. It was Lifehouse and Taylor Swift playing together. It was a fun concert. I recognized some of the music from the radio and my kids I-Pods, MP3's, Zen players and shoe phones. We had a great time.

We had great seats for the event. And the venue was nice. Once the bands started no one wanted to sit in the chairs that had been provided. (Yep, showing my age again, huh?)

One young man, pictured below, had the opportunity to meet Taylor Swift before the concert. Well you know how some people when they get around celebrities will make the story sound better than it really is. This kid didn't. He had the proof.

Taylor Swift signed his head! I mean right on the forehead where everyone can see.

His dad even had pictures of the event taking place. Being a guy, even an olde one, I thought, dude, way cool!

This kid is a genius. He solved the number or the autograph washing off when he eats, drinks, goes to the little boys room and does the washing thing. He doesn't have to worry about getting it on his clothes or rubbing off on his pants. Shear genius.

This kid should be president! (Why not?)

It was right in the middle of his miniature hero worship session that the parenting voice kicked in. I don't know where it came from, or why. All of a sudden I noticed that all of the people that though this was cool were the males of our species. I then noticed that the proud father, showing pictures of the event, with a really cool camera, was only accompanied by a daughter who was not as interested in the outcome of the celebrity meeting. My initial thought, she is just not getting it because, you know, she is a girl! Then the parent voice got louder. The young hero is going to get killed when he walks in the door! I went from coolness to down right afraid for this former hero's development! His Mom is going to have a Code Brown! You know, first she is going to say it, then she is going to do it. How could this have happened? Instantly, I became worried if the Sharpie marker would come off his head without removing to much skin. I was also thinking of the comments the proud father was about to receive over this lapse in judgement. The parent voice. It had me. Then parent voice made me turn around and check on all of my kids. All okay. Nothing that would get me in the dawg house. Phew!

Back to the concert. I had a great time and learned that you don't have to have paper anymore in this digital age to get an autograph. My spouse is also concerned that with all of the youngins we have I will use the new method of communication for my next shopping list! On the kids silly, not me. How would I read it!

Famous Parades in History..Maybe Not!

As a roving reporter of the useless facts and weird trivia I have a new entry for The Book. The funny part is that this entry comes from the keeper of The Book, Mimi.

It appears there is a Vermont version of the running of the bulls like they do in Spain....well kind of. I can only imagine all of the liberals in the Green State and the neighboring Granite state and the animals rights people starting to make banners and beginning a campaign based upon this news. Say it isn't so!!

Okay, the parade is not as dangerous or as fast paced as the Spanish equivalent. It appears the only danger in the Vermont activity is to step in a hot steamer or a stray cow chip on the highway. The event up in Vermont is called the Strolling of the Heifers! This is not to be confused with ladies night at the local steak house buffet. It appears the event is to promote the Vermont dairy industry.











You can see by the pace of the two and four legged participants that speed is not the most important criteria for participation. We believe the people version of this annual event is called Duggers on Parade!!

As you can see in the picture below that they appear to grow them very large. Mark your calendars for next year for the Strolling of the Heifers in Brattleboro, Vermont.

One for the Book - Blinding Flash of the Obvious

This is a category of post I know well and get my self in trouble with occasionally, mostly with my lovely wife. Let's call it the think before we speak category.

Please understand we all have moments when we think things then because of the faces of people around us we can instantly tell that, oops, I must have used my out loud voice to express the thought. That happens to the best of us.

Over the past couple of days I have heard a question over and over again so there must be some disconnect between the visual, the thinking, and the speaking parts of our brains that is degrading. Maybe it is due to the lack of social interaction some people have due to an abundance of television. It could just be a function of I'm going to ask just to see if the answer I hear matches the visual I see. Not sure, I may have stumbled onto my thesis for my PhD. in the land of the non-academic.

I will provide you the visual just as a test. Since I know only the cultured, well informed, smartest, and most articulate read this blog. It is only an example of the test that was given to others.

Okay, what question came to mind? Did you say it out loud?

Since I know you all passed the test with flying colors there is no need to explain the reams of data and surveys that we had to accumulate for this unscientific poll, that was not statistically significant. It wasn't even valid.

Here is the question I was receiving from others in the neighborhood and people coming into the area for the city wide yard sale. With the above sign pounded into the yard, complete with a flyer explaining the asking price, attributes of the home, and a phone number to call for information on both the sign and the flyer, the following was still asked, " Are you selling your house?"

In my head answer:
(Being the good smart a$$ that I am;) Nope, this was just a test of the neighborhood communication system. Had this been an actual attempt to sell, the Goodyear blimp would have been flying over head, I would have rented search lights to crisscross in the sky, and a marching band would have been parading by every 15 minutes. I'm begging you to give me a price below what I am asking so I can feel really good about the decision to sell.

Outside voice answered:
Yes we are. Are you interested or do you know someone that is in the market for a wonderful house with fine neighbors?

I think there is going to be a new telethon established for the think before you speak campaign. If you have ideas on who the spokesperson should be for the national ad campaign or come up with the cool acronym that could be used let me know.

For now, please start saving your pennies for the people you may know who ask questions just to hear the answer! Also, if you know anyone with the number to the Goodyear blimp people...would you share?

I'm Smiling So Much My Face Hurts

Yep, that is what my daughter, Boodles, reported to me and her mom. She was giggling with us as we watched a recent episode on the Food Network. Boodles, wants to be a chef or baker when she gets older. So she works to learn everything she can off the Food Network.

Anyway, as we watched she laughed about something that was said. Then she started to smile, then laugh, then giggle uncontrollably. Then she laughed and laughed and laughed. The funny part is we can't even remember what started the laughing. The situation was something else. So now that she is cracking up her mom and I get into the act. We start laughing and trying to understand what is so funny.

As we try to get to the bottom of the laughing, out comes the little nugget of wisdom. "Mom, I am smiling so much that my face hurts." Well, this kicked off more laughing, smiling, and giggling. It was a great 15 minutes. How relaxing.

Please add this entry into the Book. We will want to repeat this one in the future.